Thursday, March 16, 2006

Girl, Interrupted

Last night, I had this weird dream. I know it's really lame but trust me when I say this: I never dreamed of a crush before. You know the drill. I do not fantasize about guys in my dream. I dunno why. It has been that way ever since or I just probably have forgotten it by the time I woke up. Anyway, i dreamed that ____ is my boyfriend. ( i don't wanna mention the name because I'm sure anyone who's gonna read this will probably laughed their way out into the bathroom. if you do want to know who he was, you can email me. haha!) Honestly, i was not bragging or anything about him being my boyfriend (of all the people!). I'm pretty sure that what I felt during those times was not "pagyayabang" or what. The more appropriate word would be contented.happy. Sorry if this seems really vivid, i don't know why I remembered every detail of it! All I know is that i was very happy about it.

But wait. Here comes the analytical part. When I woke up and have digested everything about the stupid and weird dream, i started to think that what my dream is trying to tell me is not the obvious part. Forget about the guy being my boyfriend!! It will NEVER happen in a billion years, that i know for sure. Rather it's about the unseen part. The part that you actually figure out after it happened. My own interpretation of that dream is that this idea have actually been lying somewhere deep of my consciousness. I just never had the guts to acknowledge and thought of it in a different method. Because i never thought of myself as someone's future "significant other", I never realized what I'm capable of. I never thought of what I could be and do for someone else. I know i have a looonngg way to go and i never denied that fact, but sometimes, sometimes i wonder what I could be if I ever do get that chance someday.

The bottom line is(in case you did not see that coming c:), no matter how stupid and lame i might sound, i realized that I was just doing fine handling him. I hope that this could not be a way to get any wrong ideas about me. It was just a dream for cripes sake and i could be wrong for all i know. It was just nice knowing that i did not look at it in the obvious way, because if i did, i am probably dancing my way to school everyday! haha. Hey, just a thought. I see no bad in it, after all it's just a dream.

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