Sunday, August 26, 2007

All we need are some sunshine!

Just this week, it finally dawned on me why I distanced myself from you. You wouldn't believe the walls I've put up after waking up one day to find myself extremely disliking you (after crushing in on you for about 4 months). Funny how all the things just came out my mouth after talking about it after a long while, they were the perfect words to be exact.

You were increasingly becoming such a depressing person.

I don't know when it started but I'm quite sure that you weren't like that before I started liking you (because I wouldn't even give an effin care if you're already one). Probably those times, you too, were carving your own identity away from every person you know.

Anyway, the bottom line is now i can finally tell them why I became so indifferent towards you. I guess, that's where my fault lie. Leaving.Just.Like.That. But times have changed and as sure as it heals wounds it also rebuilds what was once thought as unthinkable.And we come out of this experience bathe in a brighter and clearer light and a little bit wiser on the side.

Thanks to this sudden rush of insight because I found out something that can propel and help me in my future decisions. I am an inch closer to recognizing myself. See, i realized that I don't want to be romantically involved with depressing people. I mean people who has a very negative and bleak perception in life. I am a happy person despite everything. It's all about perspective, dears. My life is a certified messed-up-topsy-turvy-dysfunctional of some sort and I'm quite glad that I have friends who share the same sentiments (because then you'd really know that you are not alone and not the only freak kid in town). Every imaginable case, certainly there's someone who had to go through it, whether they liked it or not, but they weren't so bad themselves. They turned out just fine. We don't have to be what our folks have become. Well, some days we have to see the good and the beauty out of the bad and the ugly.

But I'm still wondering why I'm drawn to weird people. and them too, to me. Is it because I see the good in them? i see something that's worth noticing despite their heavily guarded auras? well at least somebody said that I make them happy in a way. I mean I make them smile even if they don't want to because it's just not in their nature. I make them talk. I even make them blabber. haha. I'm glad that early on in life, I already decided that I want to be with someone who has a good sense of humor. In everything.


Hannee said...

5W 1H my dear! how are you doing? para kanino tong post na to? text lang ang nakuha ko sayo. emailed you sa gmail :)


Marye said...

si clark ang tinutukoy ko dito.. wala, dinessect lang kasi ko nung isang kaibigan ko one time at yan nga ang kinalabasan. hehe.